For the month of January our parish community is engaged in a message series under the title "Baggage". Whenever we are hurt, we feel as if someone owes us something. We can hold onto our hurts for a long time, we can hold onto our hurts for a lifetime. Our hurt can slow us down and it can mess us up. It can even damage other relationships moving forward. As we begin a New Year together, we will look at the importance of forgiving others and how it helps us even more than the person who hurt us. More than anything, it helps us grow like Christ.
As a supplement to this series, which focuses on the need to drop the baggage of life which often comes in the form of Hurdles, Hurts and Heresies we need to embrace authenticity in prayer, for the next few weeks our blog will feature some articles about prayer. I will cover four areas: What is prayer? Is there a right way to pray? What if my prayer is quiet as opposed to loud? How can I grow in prayer?
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A few days before Christmas, I dropped into a local hospital to
visit some parishioners. As I made my rounds, checking one room after another
off my list, I came across what I thought would be my final stop.
But the man I'd come to visit was away for some tests. I was just
about to leave when a voice from the other side of the room called out.
“Father,” the voice said. “You don’t know me and I am not of your
flock, but...”
The man paused and began to choke up.
“I wonder if you could teach me to pray?”
My pen and paper went into my pocket.
“Of course I can try, but first, who are you?”
Over the next few minutes the widower described a journey which
led him only 30 minutes earlier to be told that the cancer which sent him to
hospital was now leading him into the final days of his life.
“I have never been much for God, prayer or the stuff you are about
Father," he said, "but somehow when you walked in, I knew I needed to
be.”
In the following days our visits moved from his hospital bedside
to a room at the hospice to a quiet moment a few days after Christmas when
Corey and God (we trust) met face to face. The words of our first encounter
became the focus of all our days — “I wondered if you could teach me to pray?”
A survey conducted last March by the Angus Reid Institute found
that among the 20 per cent of Canadians who say they pray every day, most pray
out of gratitude. But when people who pray infrequently — fewer than two to
three times a week — address a supreme being, chances are they pray to ask for
something.
Prayer is more than a “Hail Mary” in a time of need. It is an on
going connection with God. My friend Corey did not ask me to pray for him; he
wanted to know how he could pray. That immediately struck me. His budding
prayer life already had depth. Corey needed to learn the rubrics and, even
more, become reacquainted with a friend who had never left his side. So what is prayer? Basically, it's an encounter with a friend. But
what should that encounter entail?
Although some people sincerely petition God to address the needs
of others, frequently we pray for what we want. We tell God our list of
wants, needs and requirements. I need a job, more money, a change of pace, a
more meaningful relationship, a less stressful life, better health.
For others, prayer is often about informing, advising and
correcting God. We to tell God that He doesn’t get it. That there is
something going on in our life that we seem to think He does not already know,
and then often we try to tell Him how to handle it, fix it or make it into what
we want. We seem to be praying for “our kingdom come” instead of “thy Kingdom
come.”
Here's the rub: if we pray for our kingdom, we get more of us; if
we pray for His kingdom, we get more of Him.
So we must answer this question to truly know how to pray: do we
want more of us in it or do we want more of God because of it? Prayer is about an encounter with a friend who already knows what
is going on. We need to take time to listen and understand what it means. So if
you want more of God in your life, then pray to understand, not necessarily to
inform. Spend time with Him as a good friend would — listening, seeking to
comprehend and finding the way.
In one of my encounters with Corey he told me about a time in his
life when he “prayed.” He said he had a fight with God because he told God what
needed to happen but God didn’t do it. Corey was upset because his plan didn’t
come together. A year later, he was grateful it did not and said he had a sense
that maybe God knew what He was doing.
Ever had one of those realisations when you are thankful God
didn't do things your way? Or do you spend a lot of time in prayer informing,
advising and correcting God? Are you praying for your will or His will to be
done on Earth as well as in heaven? Answering those questions and living them
are the first steps in coming to understand what is prayer.
This week, take some time to be aware of your prayer and your
encounter with your friend. Try to determine if you are prone to talking and
telling, or if you are seeking to listen and learn. Next week, we'll look at
whether there is a right way to pray.