Defining Moments - Make Sunday Matter!

We are beginning a New Year with a New Message series called "Defining Moments." God created moments for us where He invites into His larger plan: moments of insight and understanding, moments when He offers a clean break and fresh start, moments of support and encouragement. And often there are moments when He calls us into something more. 

In this series we will look at the moments God uses to impact us and, how we can be open to receive them. We will also use, as a supplementary resource, the Book “Perfectly Yourself” by Matthew Kelly. We are also launching a weekly email called "Make Sunday Matter" and during the first two weeks of this new year we will give a free copy of the Matthew Kelly book to anyone who subscribes to our weekly email which will build upon our message series (see our Cafe after any Mass on the Lord's Day for details). 

The email contains supplementary things, and links to our message podcast, to some reflection questions and even a link to a follow up video. Lots of stuff for you, during the week, to Make Sunday Matter! During our first weekend - over 250 families signed up! Its never too late... so drop in this Lord's Day weekend and be part of the growing movement to Make Sunday Matter!

Here is a wee glimpse............

Even though they had studied the stars their whole life, suddenly they see something completely different from anything they have ever seen before. They see a star that breaks from the usual template or script for what they have previously observed. And this begins a journey that leads the Magi to Jesus. This is often how defining moments come to us. We are going about our normal routine and then something different gets our attention.


In his Book   “Perfectly Yourself”, Matthew Kelly introduces us to the concept of the “Moment of Truth” where we need to ask ourselves what makes us unique. What gifts, qualities, talents, abilities, has God given uniquely to us which enables us discover and fulfil God’s dream for us. Kelly tells us our goal is not to be “better” (self-improvement), but “best” (in God’s image). The distinction allows us not to be people guided by a consumerism of self, but by a mentality of service to others. That in order for us to be who God desires us to be, we discover our gifts not by navel gazing, but by serving!

The Feast of the Epiphany of the Lord is the optimal Defining Moment. Tradition has suggested the Magi were: Melchior, King of Persia; Caspar, King of India; and Balthasar, King of Arabia. They were astronomers who closely tracked the movement of heavenly bodies and claimed to read them as omens of earthly events. Unlike the Jewish people, they did not look to God and His law to direct their steps. The Magi would have never sought out the Jewish Messiah on their own — but God presented them with a defining moment.

The Three Wise men teach us three essential qualities which we must ask ourselves if we have in order be open to the Defining Moments of our life:

The Willingness to Look Up at the Stars

 The Openness to Step Out of our Routine and Comfort Zone

 The Desire to Do Good and Go and Tell

This service is not done in isolation, but in contemplation. We try and discover “our thing” by looking at our patterns of defeat (our woes) and embrace instead progress (our wins). Asking nightly God where did I see you? Lord, where did I miss you? (Awareness Examen)

First Lesson – Celebrate Your Progress

Look at the Five Points Outlined in Chapter 1. Scribe for yourself a Road Map by asking:

Each Morning:

What do I need to focus on today?

What specific action will I take to achieve progress in this area?

How will I measure my progress in this area?

What can I do to make a difference in the lives of others today?

Each Evening:

Am I better today? (i.e. more a reflection of God’s image)

What did I do today that brought me happiness?

What did I do today which made me restless or unhappy?

Why did I choose those things? Did I hurt anyone? How can I improve tomorrow?

What good things do I feel the Holy Spirit inspiriting me to do tomorrow?

See you Sunday!

Resolutions for 2018

I have never really been a big believer in New Year Resolutions, guess because its tough to act upon them. But a friend of mine, Father Michael White, has encouraged me to take a new look at them for 2018, and he even puts his on his blog so that he has higher accountability, so this year, spurred on by his example, and with a few that I’ve freely adapted from him, I am blogging my resolutions. Feel free to hold me to them (but be gentle.....)

1. Pray a lot more

This past year has been an extremely hectic one, various opportunities in our parish life, some team changes, new chapters to begin and numerous occasions to network with parishes across Canada and in the United States as we grow in being a parish dedicated to the New Evangelization, as well as our parish growing by leaps and bounds, have kept me busy, and my prayer life has struggled a bit - got to get that back on track! The first six months I was good, but the last couple have been not so good. So I am returning to first hour of the day going to Him and last hour of the day being His. It was my practice for the first 20 years of my priesthood......this year it shall return!

2. Write a Book (another) and attend some Conferences

I have been blessed with the chance to write two books and have been invited to write a third. Its a goal for this year, but still looking at a blank page. I also use to write in this blog more often. Well have added time in my calendar for both now. I also have been invited to attend or speak at several conferences this year - going to make these a priority and will be working hard to make that happen.

3. Walk More.

I use to go to the gym 3-4 times a week. Have to say have been finding that I don't have the discipline and dedication to make it happen, but in recent months, it has become ever the more apparent that I need to push myself to walk and even just stand more for purposes of health and posture. Gong to see that this is occurring.

4. Invest in....

My Staff and Parish Leadership Team.We have a great staff, and a very strong lay leadership council, and they do an incredible job. But they could probably use more investment of my time. I have some things I am planning as we set some new goals for our ongoing effort to build a great leadership culture.

My Self. I have been reading a great deal on Leadership, and have been conversing with such great leaders as Father Michael White, Father James Mallon, Carey Nieuwhof, Patrick Lencioni, Craig Groeschel and Andy Stanley. I want this year to go spend some time with them and invest in growing as a leader - it will also make me a better Pastor.

5. Begin Next Round of Strategic Planning.

Our parish is at a great crossroads of some amazing things about to happen. Our investment in our mission and vision over the last few years is, because of God's Grace and His people's faithfulness, about to take off. It is time to look ahead. What does our campus, staff, schedule, strategy look like in 5 years? What challenges will we be facing ahead? What opportunities can we identify?

May God bless in 2018.

PS - by the way check out my 2017 New Year Blog .... always interesting looking back.....

Holiness is pretty Ordinary!

Today we are halfway through the Christmas season, celebrating the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. While this celebration is one of the most current in our Church calendar, only about 100 years, at many parishes it has become a custom for families to stop and pay a visit today to one of the many nativity scenes around church.

As we stand before the statues of Mary and Joseph piously gazing down at the splendor of their newborn child, a typical reaction is to contrast “our” family to the example of the Holy Family (the very reason for this special Sunday.) But there is an inherent hazard in doing so. Rare is the family that can relate to these saintly images.

Many families think they are so ORDINARY, being “holy” is far beyond their grasp. So, they begin to impose austere family devotional practices (to become “holier”). Others feel their families are such a “train wreck” they have no chance of being holy, and simply give up trying. Sadly, both perceptions miss the point: that our families, warts, weird relatives, troubles, issues and all, ARE HOLY, because they are so ORDINARY! Doing the extraordinary is not required.

We know practically nothing about the early family years of Jesus, other than he lived a most ORDINARY life! He was born into an ORDINARY home with no luxuries, in an extremely backwater, ORDINARY community, struggling with living and loving through the challenges of daily life. Yet, this type of “ORDINARY life” is the home life ordained by God for all of us, where hopefully we learn, as did Jesus, the difference between good and evil, respect for parents, respect for community and to grow in the fear, love and wisdom of God. Sounds ORDINARY, doesn’t it? Nonetheless this is what makes it so holy, because it fulfills God’s divine plan. 

St. Therese of the Child Jesus once said: “Holiness consists in doing God’s will, and being just what God wants us to be.” In our second reading from Colossians, Paul gives a clearer model of a holiness: people who are kind, compassionate, humble, gentle, patient and forgiving. No challenging religious devotions here, rather basic courtesies ORDINARY families are already doing. Surprisingly, there is a profound simplicity, and ORDINARINESS to being a holy family.

As we gaze upon the nativity scene this year, let’s ask ourselves this question: “Are we “ORDINARY enough” to be called a “holy family?” Here are a couple simple, ORDINARY suggestions to begin implementing a holier new year if your answer was “no”. 

First, come together in prayer at least once a day. Many families don’t eat together so a most obvious time to gather is dinner, with a simple blessing of the food and family each time. Holiness can’t be any simpler than that! And speaking of coming together for a meal, let’s ask ourselves how often we attend mass as a united family gathered for the Lord’s supper.

Holiness is more about honesty and humility than it is about wearing haloes. Because...our infinitely wise God set the holiness bar low enough for everyone to reach!

Christmas in Hespeler

Advent/Christmas Mass Schedule

Christmas Eve Shuttle                Christmas Children's Ministry

I would like to wish all of you who are visiting our parish for the Feast of Christmas a very warm welcome and to thank you for being a part of Christmas in Hespeler. I pray that you and your family will be blessed by coming to a greater knowledge of Emmanuel, God With Us. 

If you are in Hespeler for the holidays we pray that you have a joy-filled and life-giving visit with your family and friends. If you are visiting us from another faith community, we welcome you and wish you every blessing as we celebrate our common faith in the Child of Bethlehem. I would like to extend a special welcome to anyone who has been away from Church. Please know that you are always welcome here. We are a community of followers of the Lord Jesus. We don’t do it perfectly, but we strive to be the kind of community that Jesus calls us to be. We believe that our mission is to do more than simply satisfy our own particular spiritual needs. We believe that we are called to make a difference in the world, in our community together. In fact we claim as a goal "being a family of faith with something for everyone" and we desire to be to be a light on the hill and offer every person in our community a life-changing encounter with Jesus.

If knowing Jesus makes a difference in your life and you are not connected with a church, we would love to have you join us. If you have been away from the Church we would love to have you return. Perhaps consider joining us for several of the spiritual and social programs we offer here. We invite you to considering being a part of what God is doing here at St. Mary of the Visitation Parish.

Come visit us this Christmas in Hespeler!

With the above link, you can hear our most recent message series and also read some of our small group materials which aim to help expand on the message and Make Sunday Matter. 

What's the Point?

Shorter days, colourful, falling crunching leaves, and a flurry of post Thanksgiving activities, each indicate that a change of seasons is once again here. Of course that also means a new round of activities to participate in. As a parish family , over the last two weeks we have examined a profound question which we all at some stage of life ask: “What’s the Point?” 

If you have ever been hurt or disappointed then this message series will impact you.  At its core, it’s on how to deal with disappointment and strife. As we look at this important question I encourage you to invite a friend or neighbour to be part of the series- after all our parish family is all about offering every person in our community a life changing encounter with Jesus

In the Gospel of Matthew 23:1-10,12 Jesus is asking His Disciples not what they want to be when they grow up, He is not even asking them directly what the point. But Jesus is challenging them to reflect upon the lens through which they see things. Their lives had become so complicated and complex - so out of control and filled with options that were not life giving and they did not know the point of it all anymore. They lacked humility and instead lived in the hubris of self. They were caught up in title and short term gain, but Jesus reminds us of the call to be a people who know our point not by seeking thing, but by knowing Him:

            - that the answer to being  dismayed  in life is not found is redefining

            - that the answer to being dis-wayed in life is not found is redesigning

            - that the answer to being discouraged in life is not found repurposing

But the answer to discovering what the Point is found in being reacquainted with Christ.

 In the Gospel of Matthew 25:1-13, Jesus tells a parable about ten bridesmaids. At that time, a bride and groom would get married in one location and then move to the wedding feast or reception, just as we do today. However, the bridesmaids in that time had a different job than they do today. They had a definite service of having torches that burned with oil to light the procession so people could see where they were going.

As with the bridesmaids in the parable, God has given us a definite service. We are to let our light shine through the opportunities to serve that God sends our way so that others can see Jesus, who is represented by the bridegroom in the story. We permit in our life things to land, things to take off and things to circle in our life. 

The uncertainty, vulnerabilities of life and complexity of life can either cause anxiety or lead us to ask “What’s the Point?” Or they call us to being a Disciple who has the light of Christ ready to shine and share. Pray for the grace to know the definite service God has given you to serve Him today and for the whole of your life.

A Habit of the Soul

I am not sure if you have had the privilege of spending time with young people and young adults (age 16- College age) -  but if you have had that - as I have for the last 20 years as a priest - then you will agree with me that they (especially those connected to faith) ask and are concerned often with one particular question and it is “what is God’s will for my life?” They often ask:  What university should I attend?  What career does God want for me? What person should I marry?

But not just teens and millennials should be concerned with God’s will - we all ponder an element of it as connected to the age and stage of our life. But there are not easy or quick answers, the answers are not in some bible code, but rather God has a more majestic way - the answer is intimacy with the Father that allows us to specifically see His will.

This is why I am so grateful that we have a moment where we can take time to as St Paul tells us “ Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thess. 5:18)

But thanksgiving is not a day - Thanksgiving is a habit of the soul

Sometimes we see Thanksgiving as a category on Family Feud with the top 10 answers on the board 

- turkey, over eating, sleeping on the couch, visiting in the inlaws, watching sports, left overs

But God’s word tell us to be Thankful for / in spite of / regardless of …

- Being thankful & Obeying Christ is not like choosing the accessories in a new car

- we place ourselves under the authority of God - all His commands

Thanksgiving is a habit of the soul

Can people say that about you ? That thanksgiving is a habit of your soul?

• or is there some discontentment or greed .... the presence or absence of certain attitudes?

• is it only if you knew the Master Plan for your life - then you would be thankful

• anything lodged in your heart that if you had something or someone then you would be thankful?

If that is the case then it would be impossible for you to see Thanksgiving as a habit of your soul

Yet - the best gratitude - and the eternal one - is rooted in Jesus - not in our circumstances, this not going to happen overnight - but all things work together for Good 

It takes one huge step: It is thanksgiving in all things! 

We get being thankful of the good stuff - promotion, job is exactly the one you want, boss is awesome, the household life great, the bank account comfortable, the world trip atleast 2 per year. But being thankful when life is not all that great - there is the challenge of faith. - But Christ is the same - God is not a shifting shadow in your life  - He is constant - but our circumstances change - from awful to great:   

- one day someone thinks your awesome - the next day they don’t respect you

- one day traffic is clear and you get to work with time to spare - next day you sleep in & almost late

- one day your marks at school are great - next day it seems like the teacher dislikes you

- one day you are surrounded with family - next day you are living in your home alone

If we base our thankfulness on circumstances, then we are in for a rough ride - and maybe you are on the roller coaster in your life and it explains 

= why you are complaining, anxious, stressed, bitter, depressed, and even lonely

So the first step to making Thanksgiving a Habit of Your Soul is to have a gratitude rooted in Christ not Circumstances. This is illustrated in the story of Matthew Henry who wrote in his journal shortly after he was robbed:

I am thankful that he never robbed me before. I am thankful that although he took my wallet he did not take my life. Although he took all I had that day, I am thankful it was not much. And I am thankful that it was me who was robbed and not me who did the robbery

Thanksgiving is not Circumstance - it is Christ - and having a habit of thanksgiving even when it is hard - because in it - we find “what is God’s will for my life?”

So how can we develop (practical way) Thanksgiving as a Habit of Your Soul? Well let me draw from my experience and tell you one simple thing I do.

For the last 11 years as your Pastor I have had a habit - I have told you this before several years ago - and that is Sunday night - long after everyone has left - I sit in the church with a single light on focused on the tabernacle and I write a list of the things that have happened on the Lord’s Day

The conversations at the door - people asking me to pray for a loved one, telling me a joy in their life, the people I see returning to Church, the people I have not seen a while, the kids I saw at school who said I will see you on Sunday - but their parents don’t bring them but they want to come,  the hurts I have heard or even felt, the sadness and joys I have over heard in the Café, in the parking lot, in the whispers of prayer in our chapel and I sit with them.................

Then each night during the week - I go for a little rosary walk when I finish my day - sometimes very late and in cold weather I sit in my chapel at the house - and well I talk to God (people walking think I am talking to myself - nuts or cool??) and I give thanks. No matter the wins or the woes of the day I try and remember the gratitude that began my week.

When you gather for thanksgiving - when you grasp that turkey leg, delve into the mash potatoes - eat the pie, scoop the salad, or simply sit in the silence of looking around a table - give thanks - but not just for that circumstance -not just  for those people - but give thanks being grounded in Jesus and making thanksgiving a habit of your soul!

Develop your list, put it all down - the wins and the woes of your life right now - and daily as a walk, in silent prayer, in the drive - be grateful for it all and be thankful to the one who gave it all. It might not be perfect, and it may still be filled with questions, but it is in gratitude that we must begin and in doing so develop it as a habit of the soul.

Be grounded in Jesus, not in our circumstances - thankful regardless. That if Jesus is all you have - that Jesus is enough!  Develop this year - thanksgiving - as a habit of the soul!

Better Together

We find no better summary of what we are all about than the words of Pope Francis:

 “Knowing Jesus is the best gift that anyone can ever receive. That we have encountered Him is the best thing that has happened in our lives. And making Him known by our deeds and words is our greatest joy.” 

St Mary of the Visitation Parish exists to be a light on the hill and offer every person in our community a life-changing encounter with Jesus so that we can grow as His intentional disciples and become an evermore credible witness to the difference that Jesus alone can make in each of our lives.

We have been launching our Fall by reflecting on the power of unity and the truth that “We Are Better Together” . In a world of division and divisiveness, in a political environment more and more defined by "sides", the Church is called to be a body of unity, even in the midst of diversity. There is no greater vehicle which can make that possible than the local parish.

Often Jesus uses the images in scripture of the "Wedding Banquet". When we talk about spiritual growth, it is about enjoying the feast and celebration God has in store for us. Spiritual growth allows us to enjoy the abundant gifts and blessings of God’s kingdom. When the focus of our lives – and the focus of our parish – is on spiritual growth – then we truly are better together!

In Matthew 22:1–14, Jesus tells the story of a wedding feast. In the time of Jesus, people would make it a priority to go to a wedding for the feasting and celebration, but surprisingly in the parable no one participates. They refuse to enjoy the good things the king has prepared and miss out on the celebration.relationships and lost opportunities. In many ways it is the manifestation of the “cycle of ingratitude – for remember:” When the “cycle of gratitude” does not take place then most often the “cycle of ingratitude” begins.

The “cycle of ingratitude” is best described as “hard feelings” which, then depending on the maturity of those involved, can either resemble a Junior Kindergarten classroom, or a mature series of adult discussions. Every family, relationship and organization becomes subject to this. Sometimes when the “cycle of ingratitude” goes too far, we see violence, selfishness and even people feeling rejected or “leaving” because they are angry.

This is why Service Saturday, Tuesday Night Together, outreach efforts by our Small Groups – all of these are important because they keep the “cycle of gratitude” going. This is why a simple hand written “Thank you Note” is so powerful. This is why the Eucharist and weekly being at Sunday Mass is so vital. It keeps the “cycle of gratitude” in motion.

But we know that sometimes, like in the Gospel – people reject the invitation to the banquet – Sunday Mass. Funny enough all the reasons are the same today as they were in the parable, (c.f. – “But they made light of it and went away, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his slaves, mistreated them, and killed them” ). In other words “I don’t need religion, I am busy, don’t talk to me about God….” The king responds in an interesting way…. He invites more to come… others… he opens the door ever the wider……. He does not allow “the cycle of in gratitude” to begin in his heart… but is ever the more grateful for all who come.

So I guess here is the question for us as Disciples of Jesus – and for us as a parish community committed to offering every person in our community a life changing encounter with Jesus. Are we inviting others?

A little self-examination might help here:

• When was the last time we invited or brought a friend to Mass?

• When we don’t see someone at our parish that use to belong – do we ever ask them to return (even if they give the same excuses as above)?

• When was the last time we spoke positively about our parish, priests, our religion – even if people don’t share the “cycle of gratitude” that we do?

• When was the last time we generously donated to our parish to keep things not only ‘operating’ but ensuring we can invite others to the banquet

So often we are hesitant to ask the above and maybe even say “this is not my role, it is not my business.” This Gospel tells us it surely is! If we are not contributing to the cycle of gratitude then we are leaving room for the cycle of in gratitude to begin. If we say well “when they have time they will come”, or “they have a lot going on now, soon they will come” then we are much like the excuse makers in the parable who had ingratitude in their hearts.

Let me pause with this little story. At a parish I served at once there was a couple. They were at church every day and seemed pious. But in their hearts there was a hardness that made them offer snide remarks about others and priests even during Mass. They came to the banquet but not with gratitude. Here is what I learned from observing them – they might have been pious but they did not possess gratitude. In the Gospel, the King discovered that those he had invited were not grateful - but he kept inviting others to the banquet (even when rejected) because the banquet was important and his heart possessed gratitude. Since he never gave up, in time, his banquet hall was filled with people who might not have been pious, but they were grateful. Do we keep inviting? Do we possess gratitude for the invitation to come to the banquet?

As we draw soon to a conclusion our series, are we keeping our commitment to the Banquet? Are we aware of what keeps us from it? Are we present with piety or pure gratefulness? Are we seeking in all we do (action and especially word) to lead others to know that by offering every person in our community a life changing encounter with Jesus – we are better together!