Is there a right way to pray?

For the month of January our parish community is engaged in a message series under the title "Baggage". Whenever we are hurt, we feel as if someone owes us something. We can hold onto our hurts for a long time, we can hold onto our hurts for a lifetime. Our hurt can slow us down and it can mess us up. It can even damage other relationships moving forward. As we begin a New Year together, we will look at the importance of forgiving others and how it helps us even more than the person who hurt us. More than anything, it helps us grow like Christ.

As a supplement to this series, which focuses on the need to drop the baggage of life which often comes in the form of Hurdles, Hurts and Heresies we need to embrace authenticity in prayer, for the next few weeks our blog will feature some articles about prayer. I will cover four areas: What is prayer? Is there a right way to pray? What if my prayer is quiet as opposed to loud? How can I grow in prayer?  This entry is Part 2 of 4
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When I was 12, some family members and I went on a fishing trip. There are three things I remember about that trip: first, I caught the biggest fish (which to be truthful didn’t mean much given I caught the only fish that day); second, the boat was leaky; third, we found ourselves in a slight storm. Have you ever experienced a storm?

So often it is in storms that we find ourselves praying. Last week we looked at what is prayer and concluded that it is an encounter with a friend — Jesus. But we needed to make sure that we were not doing all of the talking and telling, instead seeking to do the listening and learning. So is there a right way to pray? Well, maybe the storm will tell us.

I want to take you back to a situation the disciples faced in Jesus’ day.

In Matthew 14:22-33, Jesus told the disciples to get into a boat and go across the sea of Galilee to the other side. When they got to the middle of the lake, a huge storm came up. Jesus came to them, walking on the water. Peter asked if he could come to Jesus, and Jesus said “come.” Peter then walked on the water, but then looked at the waves around him and started to sink. After calling out to Jesus in prayer, He saved Peter and they got into the boat and the storm went away.

We all face storms in our lives. A major, life-changing decision. A temptation with sin. An argument with a family member. A betrayal of a friend. A loss of a loved one. Storms are a part of life; there is no way we can avoid them and a lot of the time we can’t control them. But we can control how we react to them. This is the key, because how we react in prayer to the storms we face will determine whether we sink or stay afloat, and if prayer continues to be a life-giving experience.

One of my former pastors used to say, “Trials will have one of two effects on you: they will either make you bitter or better.” We can sulk, cry, pout, throw a pity-party, curse God and be bitter and end up sinking, or we can in prayer listen and learn from the storm and become better and stay afloat.

There are three sure ways not to sink and these must be at the core of our prayer. First, focus on Jesus. When did Peter start to sink? The moment he took his focus off Jesus and started to look around.

It is easy for us to forget about God during troubled times. We try to take control of the situation ourselves and it’s easy to forget that Jesus is always there. Here, I highly recommend Eucharistic Adoration. It is literally about keeping our eyes on Jesus.

Another element to prayer is to live in obedience. Jesus gave one command to Peter: “Come.” At first, it looked as if Peter was doing great, but then he stopped. Peter’s faith disappeared. Listen, God loves you and wants the best for you. He is always looking out for your best interests. Even when the storms of life are tough and we can’t understand what’s going on, God is still in control. As long as we trust Him and live in obedience to Him, He will see us through it.

Finally, in your time and experience of prayer, overlook distractions. Peter took his focus off of Jesus, then he stopped, and then he looked at the waves. He became worried about the storm around him. He thought he couldn’t handle it. He thought the storm was too big for him. But he forgot one thing — Jesus was there.

Sometimes our storms seem so big we feel that we can’t handle them. Don’t forget that Jesus is with you and He will give you the power to see it through.

Baggage - So What is Prayer?

For the month of January our parish community is engaged in a message series under the title "Baggage". Whenever we are hurt, we feel as if someone owes us something. We can hold onto our hurts for a long time, we can hold onto our hurts for a lifetime. Our hurt can slow us down and it can mess us up. It can even damage other relationships moving forward. As we begin a New Year together, we will look at the importance of forgiving others and how it helps us even more than the person who hurt us. More than anything, it helps us grow like Christ.

As a supplement to this series, which focuses on the need to drop the baggage of life which often comes in the form of Hurdles, Hurts and Heresies we need to embrace authenticity in prayer, for the next few weeks our blog will feature some articles about prayer. I will cover four areas: What is prayer? Is there a right way to pray? What if my prayer is quiet as opposed to loud? How can I grow in prayer?

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A few days before Christmas, I dropped into a local hospital to visit some parishioners. As I made my rounds, checking one room after another off my list, I came across what I thought would be my final stop. 

But the man I'd come to visit was away for some tests. I was just about to leave when a voice from the other side of the room called out. 

“Father,” the voice said. “You don’t know me and I am not of your flock, but...” 

The man paused and began to choke up. 

“I wonder if you could teach me to pray?”

My pen and paper went into my pocket. 

“Of course I can try, but first, who are you?” 

Over the next few minutes the widower described a journey which led him only 30 minutes earlier to be told that the cancer which sent him to hospital was now leading him into the final days of his life. 

“I have never been much for God, prayer or the stuff you are about Father," he said, "but somehow when you walked in, I knew I needed to be.”

In the following days our visits moved from his hospital bedside to a room at the hospice to a quiet moment a few days after Christmas when Corey and God (we trust) met face to face. The words of our first encounter became the focus of all our days — “I wondered if you could teach me to pray?” Over the coming weeks I would like to relay some thoughts about prayer that I shared with Corey. I will cover four areas: What is prayer? Is there a right way to pray? What if my prayer is quiet as opposed to loud? How can I grow in prayer?

A survey conducted last March by the Angus Reid Institute found that among the 20 per cent of Canadians who say they pray every day, most pray out of gratitude. But when people who pray infrequently — fewer than two to three times a week — address a supreme being, chances are they pray to ask for something. 

Prayer is more than a “Hail Mary” in a time of need. It is an on going connection with God. My friend Corey did not ask me to pray for him; he wanted to know how he could pray. That immediately struck me. His budding prayer life already had depth. Corey needed to learn the rubrics and, even more, become reacquainted with a friend who had never left his side. So what is prayer? Basically, it's an encounter with a friend. But what should that encounter entail?  

Although some people sincerely petition God to address the needs of others, frequently we pray for what we want. We tell God our list of wants, needs and requirements. I need a job, more money, a change of pace, a more meaningful relationship, a less stressful life, better health.

For others, prayer is often about informing, advising and correcting God. We to tell God that He doesn’t get it. That there is something going on in our life that we seem to think He does not already know, and then often we try to tell Him how to handle it, fix it or make it into what we want. We seem to be praying for “our kingdom come” instead of “thy Kingdom come.” 

Here's the rub: if we pray for our kingdom, we get more of us; if we pray for His kingdom, we get more of Him.

So we must answer this question to truly know how to pray: do we want more of us in it or do we want more of God because of it? Prayer is about an encounter with a friend who already knows what is going on. We need to take time to listen and understand what it means. So if you want more of God in your life, then pray to understand, not necessarily to inform. Spend time with Him as a good friend would — listening, seeking to comprehend and finding the way.

In one of my encounters with Corey he told me about a time in his life when he “prayed.” He said he had a fight with God because he told God what needed to happen but God didn’t do it. Corey was upset because his plan didn’t come together. A year later, he was grateful it did not and said he had a sense that maybe God knew what He was doing. 

Ever had one of those realisations when you are thankful God didn't do things your way? Or do you spend a lot of time in prayer informing, advising and correcting God? Are you praying for your will or His will to be done on Earth as well as in heaven? Answering those questions and living them are the first steps in coming to understand what is prayer.

This week, take some time to be aware of your prayer and your encounter with your friend. Try to determine if you are prone to talking and telling, or if you are seeking to listen and learn. Next week, we'll look at whether there is a right way to pray.

A New Year Begins......

As last month rolled and January (and a new year) approached,  I wanted to declare a “Time-Out!” Inside, I’m protesting: “Slow down! What’s going on? What happened to time?” The latter question reminded me of the speed of life lived:

“When as a child I laughed and wept, time crept.

When as a youth I dreamed and talked, time walked.

When I became a full grown man, time ran.

And later as I older grew, time flew.

Soon I shall find while travelling on, time gone.”

[Inscription on the clock in Chester cathedral.]

At the beginning of this New Year let us pause (slow down, declare a Time Out) for a moment and focus on three important things:

1. To look to the past with gratitude.

We have a beautiful graced history in which God calls us as His Disciples to read the signs of the times with the eyes of faith and to respond creatively to the needs of the church and the world.

2. To live the present with passion.

We strive to listen attentively to what the Holy Spirit is saying to the Church today, to be interiorly united to Christ – “For to me to live is Christ” [Phil 1:21]. 

3. To embrace the future with hope.

Amidst the many uncertainties, the call is to practice the virtue of hope, the fruit of our faith in the Lord of history, who continues to tell us: “Be not afraid … for I am with you” [Jer. 1:8].

Our prayer is to look at the past with gratitude, to live the present with passion, and to embrace the future with hope. As a parish family we reflect upon what that may look like and for us it is, and has been about, being a Missionary Parish.

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, when visiting one of the parishes in the Diocese of Rome, told the parishioners:

Let us not wait for others to bring different messages, which do not lead to

authentic life. You yourselves must become missionaries of Christ to your

brothers and sisters wherever they live, work, study or pass their free time…

Faith must be lived together, and the parish is the place in which we learn to live

our faith as part of the “us” of the Church.

Parishes, then, are called to be “missionary” — not to foreign countries — but first of all to those immediately around them. This is the new evangelization spoken of us so often by St. John Paul II, Pope Benedict XVI and most recently, Pope Francis. This mission of evangelization, of proclaiming and living the gospel message, belongs to every baptized member of the Church. So, what does a “missionary parish” look like?

To begin with, a missionary parish reaches out to those who do not know Christ by welcoming them and sharing the Good News with them. Now more than ever this is a mission to other Catholics who no longer actively practice their faith, as well as to non-Christians. A missionary parish is a welcoming environment for any and all who come to it, regardless of race, ethnic origin, social status or personal situation.

St Mary of the Visitation Parish achieves this through its sense of family, it authentic welcome, its priority of hospitality whether in the Parking Lot, the entry way, our Cafe or in the pews themselves. We make our mark here by truly desiring to invite and include, and to ensuring that there is "something for everyone and a place for all."

A missionary parish is also one that educates and forms its members in the faith so that they can live their discipleship completely. This includes preparing adults and children to celebrate the sacraments fully and fruitfully; training people for leadership roles in the community; and forming parishioners to recognize and undertake works of service and justice in the town or city or region where the parish is located.

This is done in process, but also in our case very much done through Small Groups which seek to make Sunday Matter all week long. This is also achieved in our community through parish based sacramental preparation, through vibrant children and youth ministries, through an adult education focus, through high rates of parishioner involvement in liturgical ministries, and through a collaborative team leadership model.

Lastly, a missionary parish continues to spiritually strengthen parishioners to live their faith boldly and to share it through witness and outreach to others. A parish marked by a missionary spirit is one whose presence in society is made visible and lasting through involvement in social projects, particularly those that serve the poor and marginalized and promote everyone’s right to life and the blessings due to every human person. A parish that is “missionary-oriented” is one where witness of word is matched by witness of life.

Our banner flies high here through a comprehensive outreach program that seeking to be a hand of hope not only across the city with such things as our Service Saturday, Neighbourhood Ministry and local outreach partnerships, but also across the world, with overseas commitments in Haiti, Kenya and Jerusalem which have included missions trips and pilgrimage visits.

This missionary focus is already to be found in many ways and in many instances in our parish. But it must increase and become the main characteristic of life so that we can be what we are really meant to be — communities engaged in the mission give to the Church by Jesus himself, to make it possible for others to experience life in the Kingdom of God in our time and in this place.

The ultimate means by which we understand Jesus Christ and truly are missionary in focus is the Eucharist, for the Eucharist is Christ himself, personally and actively present. The embodiment of the paschal mystery, the Eucharist is Jesus’ love for the world unto death, His journey into godforsakenness in order to save the most desperate of sinners, his heart broken open in compassion. And this is why it is through the lens of the Eucharist that Jesus comes most fully and vividly into focus. So our parish will continue to be Eucharistic and our Adoration Chapel our true power house for prayer, and the Lord's Day the central time we gather and the reason for why we do what we do.

I am excited for 2017......as my nephew says at the start of so many things in his life...bring it on!